light alone

a poem

2009-08-09T20:29:00.000-07:00

i put together some random thoughts...and here they are, in a poem sort of way.

I found an old rugged road,
Beautiful and forgotten
On it I passed some cherryplum trees,
And grass so tall it was up to my knees
I picked and ate the cherryplums, till I was quite full to the brim
I caught a glance of the sun rays still lighting the top of a hill
My curious mind raced, and I carefully got through the barbwire fence
Though sharp it was, and caught my leg
The glory up on the hill was worth the struggle,
And as I bounded down with a happy smile,
I whispered, “this is, dear summertime”

[k.e.h.]

a song

2009-06-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

When the sun goes down, and the music fades
I can’t wait until the day when your kingdom sings

When my eyes are dim and my heart is cold
I can’t wait until the day when you’ll heal the pain

chorus: Everlasting father, glorious king
You reign forever, your kingdom sings
Glory, glory be to your name
You’ll lift your children up from the grave

Many hearts cry out, many nations groan,
Waiting for the day when they see your throne

When the world is full, of a war so old
I can’t wait until the day when you split the sky
I can’t wait until the day when peace arises

[k.e.]

© 2007 Words and Music by Karen Hellweg
Used by Permission CCLI #1570588

2009-06-22T20:47:00.000-07:00

please give me time to decipher the signs…

time to decide.

time to mend.

time to pick up all my pieces.

time to get up.

time to get back.

it may just take a little time....

[k.e.]

sigh....

2009-04-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

what lovely weather!

:thank you God:

rock or sand

2009-03-04T10:43:00.001-08:00

A dance instructor once told me that there is something about our brain that causes us to imitate the other dancers around us. Whether or not the other dancers are doing the correct steps, we still have a natural tendency to do the same. I have experienced this in the simple act of going into the kitchen, finding something to eat, and then having my siblings come in and only want to eat exactly what I have –no matter what other food is available. We may have independent spirits, but we frequently copy the actions of those around us indisputably. I believe there are three major pieces that cause us to conform to the standards of our peers. The first is natural tendency. We absorb so much of the way our peers live, that we find ourselves following. But it goes deeper than just a natural tendency to imitate. The second is peer pressure which often says we must fit into a certain mold and do the acceptable and “cool” thing to do. If we decide to reject this attitude, then most often we ourselves are in great danger of being rejected. Fear of being rejected is evoked and propels us into the massive flow. Finally, the third cause for conforming is because we want something. Everyone has an objective even if they may not realize it. Often we just want to be loved, admired, respected, esteemed…by our peers.
Could it be that most of us are willing to sacrifice our own standards and beliefs to conform to those of our peers in order to avoid being rejected, or to get what we want?

As we conform to the standards of those of our peers, the effects are huge. The moment we sacrifice our standards and go with the flow, our own ideas get eroded and are replaced with the ideas of others. We all just become followers. We are influenced in areas ranging from clothes and music, to our attitudes, our language, and our relationships. We adapt, without much thought. But hella yes, it’s the way to go. Often, I have found myself doing things that I know I shouldn’t, but everyone else seems to have embraced the attitude that it is perfectly alright- a lot of them my friends and with similar ideas and beliefs as mine. For example, I am strongly convinced of the fact that actions have consequences. And yet, many of my peers ignore this fact most of the time. I am persuaded to go with the flow, and yet feel a keen sense of contradiction. My heart throbs with a desire to live for God, but the pressure to conform to an age of ignorance is wearing on me.

Giving into the pressure to conform to the standards of our peers is not bringing about good effects. In fact, it’s crippling. A person who is living in contradiction will break apart unless they make a stand. I would say it is time to stop being followers and start being leaders of our generation. It is time to step out of the flow for a moment to clear our minds of the rubbish that infiltrates our culture and make a bold stand for what we believe in. We should be more like solid rocks, and less like sand that just gets washed away. The solid rock in this case, may not fit in with the multitude of sand, but as it endures the perils of life, it will become polished and shining. It will stand for ages as beacon of true strength, faith, boldness.

k.e.h.

2009-03-02T13:52:00.001-08:00

dear math, i wish we could part ways. forever!!!

today i pray...

2009-02-28T10:25:00.001-08:00

::God, let me not forget::

happiness

2009-02-26T15:39:00.000-08:00

Perhaps I was a little too harsh and confining with my previous vague definition of happiness. In order to emphasize and uplift the meaning of joy, I belittled the meaning of happiness, and since have felt a little remorseful. So here I am, sitting with my happy cup of coffee, feeling rather guilty. Though joy and happiness are much different, happiness does go deeper than a cup of coffee. :)

“Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” –Joseph Addison

Often, we hear the word happiness. We may even experience it; in fact we all have experienced it to some degree even if just for a moment. For some, it is the absence of sorrow, or relief of pain. For others it is an exciting feeling of immense pleasure that can take on many forms, whether it is as small as a piece of chocolate or a scented flower, or something greater like going to your wedding. But what exactly, is pure happiness? From a broad perspective, Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines happiness as “the enjoyment of pleasure without pain, gratifying desires, luck, or fortune.” The word happy is similarly defined as lucky, fortunate, and successful. Furthermore, it defines happy as “receiving good from something that springs up to us unexpectedly, and that is out of our control.” Finally, it says that “the pleasurable sensations derived from the gratification of sensual appetites render a person temporarily happy; but he only can be esteemed really and permanently happy, who enjoys peace of mind in the favor of God.”

For me, happiness often springs up. I find pleasure in many things-sunshine, rain, tea, warm socks, chocolate. Yet, what is the fundamental aspect of happiness? I believe Joseph Addison was right in his “three grand essentials”. The first, “something to do”, could very well mean a life work- doing what we do best and working diligently to accomplish what we are called to do. No matter how small or great, finding something that we can do well, and contributing to life and giving to others is fulfilling, and does bring happiness-perhaps prosperity, which brings us back to the definition of happiness. The second essential is love. Having something or someone to love and receiving love back is crucial for happiness. In fact, I believe happiness in its purest form is love. Love expressed through words, actions, time spent with another, gifts received or given, and other ways. In a way, happiness can be given and received by the form of love.

Finally, in the third grand essential, “something to hope for,” indicates happiness in the future. In Webster’s dictionary, it says that “to be in any degree happy we must be free from pain both of body and of mind.” Furthermore, it says “perfect happiness, or pleasure unalloyed with pain, is not attainable in this life.” I would agree, and assume from these defining points in Webster’s dictionary that we can only experience partial happiness -tastes of it in this life. For this reason, it points back to the statement about one who “enjoys peace of mind in the favor of God”, can really only be “esteemed really and permanently happy”. I believe this is true, and the hope that I embrace is one not rooted in this world, but one of heaven that is yet to come. Hoping for something brings energy to keep on and anticipation for happiness, whether it is something that can be attained on this earth, or eternally. Happiness can be described in a thousand ways, just as there are a thousand different things that can bring happiness, but I would conclude that the three grand essentials shape the major pieces of our happiness with love being the most prominent. I know that God’s love for me has been the greatest happiness I have experienced, and my eyes are ever fixed on the completion of that happiness in being forever with Him. I think George Sand was not far off when he said, “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”

k.e.h.

[cont.] 14 more random things...

2009-02-25T19:41:00.000-08:00

1. I get persuaded quite easily – a blessing and a curse! (I am thankful for the good parents and friends I have)

2. I think it’s amusing watching random people in crowds…( maybe that’s weird lol) but I also find myself wondering about the lives of people who I come in contact with like the girl that works at subway, or the guy with the sign…

3. I drive relatively fast. Once, I had a dream about a cop pulling me over and giving me a ticket, and as I looked to see the amount I sighed with relief that it was only $30…but as he was filling out the citation he looked at me sort of evilly and added another zero…I started crying. But he just kept adding zeros!

4. I have been the victim of my brother attacking me in his sleep! It was the weirdest thing…(I thought people only walked in their sleep, but apparently they can attack people while “sleeping”) haha…he was mad at me because he thought I was in his bed, but I was just innocently sleeping in my own bed…it was terrifying, he pushed me out of bed. Lol

5. I love being around people, yet I love being alone sometimes too. I am perfectly content and happy when I’m just all by myself.

6. Hannah calls me a baby because I hate scary/horror movies. If I am somehow persuaded to watch one, I need pillows, a guy, and a blanket! Lol

7. This is rather contradictory to #1, but I am also rather stubborn sometimes…

8. Altogether I have 24 pairs of shoes. 13 pairs of dress shoes, 2 pairs of loafers, 2 pairs of boots (one short, one tall), 1 pair of snow boots, 4 pairs of tennis shoes type shoes, 2 pairs of soccer shoes (1 outdoor cleats, 1 indoor shoes), and 1 very sad and lonely crock (the other one was drowned in the river). Basically, I like shoes. :)

9. A little bit of procrastination is good if it allows you to enjoy life!

10. When creatively thinking or using the right side of my brain, I pretty much always tilt my head slightly up and to the right

11. I would prefer sharp, brief pain over dull, long-lasting pain.

12. I basically never just think, “I am so excited, now I get to read the Bible, and put everything else aside.” But every time I am done reading, I am amazed at what I read and wonder why I drug my feet!

13. Peonies are my favorite flowers

14. I make confessions about things and then wonder why I do! Haha ;)

hmm

2009-02-23T16:44:00.000-08:00

the weather can't make up its mind....

so it rains and it shines. at the same time.

I like it. aw sunshine. :)

fond of this song...

2009-02-21T15:13:00.000-08:00

"I got bruises on my knees for you and grass stains on my knees for you, got holes in my new jeans for you, got pink and black and blue.. for you."
-chairlift

25 very random things...

2009-02-19T22:56:00.000-08:00

1. I sing most in the car, shower, and the kitchen while cleaning…my brothers join in, or start singing something else which is so annoying! I just try to sing over them. We have sort of a competition sometimes…

2. I love writing, although when it comes to papers for a class…*ehem* I have a horrifying experience of starting…and sometimes finishing them. I basically want to shoot myself. I am a majorly harsh critic of my writing.

3. I am not punctual. (I am fashionably late…hehe jk)

4. I wish I was funny and sometimes I laugh at my own jokes. My brothers laugh at all the stupid things I do sometimes… =P

5. When I was a cute little kid, I used to lick butter out of the dish on some mornings when everyone was still in bed

6. I hate it when people text while in the same room or close proximity of each other…seriously people, God gave you mouths, use them!

7. I love extreme sports (although I am somewhat cautious :)…I don’t want that 3rd concussion!)

8. I like discussion and debating [though if someone is owning me, I usually resort to teasing and/or name calling :)…sometimes I use violence..haha jk! Or maybe not…hehe ;) ]

9. Dancing is my new favorite thing

10. Sometimes I read the last few pages of the end of a book, and then I start it.

11. I smile at people I don’t know all the time…I don’t know why I do, but I love it when they smile back. :)

12. Sometimes I eat dessert before breakfast (at least it isn’t butter anymore! ;)

13. I dress according to the mood I’m in…[and I actually do wear jeans and t-shirts all the time! :)]

14. I’ll write a song and sometimes not even know the exact chords I used..they are odd chords ok! or I'll make up words...or use words i don't even know what they mean but i think i do...=P

15. This is a fact. Coffee must be made right. Strong, but not burnt. Milk or cream must not be sour. Sugar, must be minimal.

16. I want to live in Portland, but I don’t have a bike. :’(

17. I like cats better than dogs. Dogs stink. End of story.

18. I want to go to Mexico. If not, then somewhere in the southern hemisphere

19. I actually laugh out loud when I find something funny.

20. I think kids are the coolest. Sometimes I’d rather talk to kids than adults.

21. I am afraid of heights, white water river rafting, and spiders especially!!!

22. Once, I gave my brother pauly a nice little hair wash in the toilette…actually I think I
dunked his head in the toilette I don’t know why. =P

23. I use reverse psychology all the time ;)

24. The book of Isaiah is one of my favorites in the Old Testament, and the book of Ephesians in the New Testament

25. Musicians are my homies. I have great respect for them.

family photos

2009-02-18T19:27:00.001-08:00

Ellanie

niece Ellanie, Heather, grandma #1, grandma #2, sister, mother, me

Stephen, Paul, David

photos taken by Paul and Jennifer Hartung. [ http://www.jennlynnimages.com/ ]

2009-02-18T11:53:00.000-08:00

“There is a law of moral attraction that draws every man to the society most like himself. Where we go when we are free to go where we will is a near infallible index of character.” –A.W. Tozer

defining

2009-02-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

-Happiness is [easily] found. It is something that comes with conditions. It is something that springs up all at once...but dies just as quickly as it came.

-Joy is fought for. It must be sought after, and it takes a great deal of work to attain. Joy is a choice we must make. Joy shines despite life's cruelty.

-Happiness is a cup of coffee.

-Joy is an attitude that says, "Heart, I will give thanks. Soul, I will rejoice. Mind, I will remember God's goodness. Strength, I will yield to God's strength."

Joy, I seek you now.

k.e.h.

note- more to come.

don't break my heart....

2009-02-15T19:35:00.001-08:00

today i just have to laugh

2009-02-13T15:58:00.000-08:00

first, today I actually woke up early. I’m so proud of myself. I got up when my alarm clock went off…7:30am baby. Then I finished my paper…which was one of the happiest things ever since I rarely have those moments when I am just like, “yes! I actually had some inspiration to change this lovely piece of crap essay into something that is presentable and that I actually like.” It was a pretty good feeling until I got to class and wondered how I was going to get through the awkwardness of turning my paper in…late. I don’t know why it is awkward, but when everyone is sitting in class looking so angelic and you know everyone of them turned their papers in on time, it just is. Also, the teacher just sat so properly at her desk…it made me feel quite wicked. I sat down and said hello to a friend. I knew I had to turn my paper in at some point…and I had to do it soon. Quickly, I got up and placed my paper on her desk avoiding any eye contact. As I sat back down I saw her look me over. It was kind of an amused look…and at the same time kind of a deathly stare. You see, this was the second time I turned in my paper late. In a flash she picked up her pen and scribbled something on my paper. I can only guess what she marked. All I have to say is 1) you can’t rush art [a.k.a essays] and 2) (this is actually a different story) but giving only two days (Saturday and Sunday) to write a first draft is slightly unreasonable!

Today I also decided that I don’t like making pudding. Pudding is great, but when it takes two hours to make, leaves me with a burned finger, and I don’t even get to eat it because I won’t be around when it will be served, is……what word could I use here?! Annoying?

But! I am not complaining at all…:) Oh because soon I am going to get ready to go to play rehearsal for four hours tonight. Woop! [shoot me now. ;) jk] Hopefully I will stay awake. But today is good. (and that last remark was not sarcastic, I promise. :)

2009-02-12T22:33:00.000-08:00

2009-02-12T12:23:00.000-08:00

the view from where I walk...

2009-02-11T19:45:00.000-08:00

It was absolutely gorgeous today, I couldn't resist the urge to capture some of it on a walk I took this afternoon...

it amazes me that these are actually blooming in the middle of the winter.

k.e.h.

2009-02-11T13:32:00.000-08:00

Moses

“come on now, don't you want to see
this thing that's happening to me
like moses has power over sea
so you've got power over me

come on now, don't you want to see
just what a difference you've made in me
i'll be waiting oh no matter what you say
cause i've been waiting for days and days and days

and oh, oh yes i would
if i only could
and you know i would
and baby i, oh baby i
i wish

if the sky's gonna fall down let it fall on me
if you're gonna break down you can break on me
if the sky's gonna fall down let it fall on me
if it's gonna rain down it can rain on me
-it can rain on me”

-Chris Martin

an appropriate quote for the day....

2009-02-10T13:23:00.000-08:00

"smilings my favorite!"

"no buddy. work is your new favorite!"

ok. I am going to work on my paper. now.

k.e.h. :)

a few sibling shots...

2009-02-08T14:30:00.001-08:00

2009-02-05T12:54:00.000-08:00

Swallowing the bitter taste of disappointment has to be one of the hardest things to do. Especially if you know you’ve been put on a scale, and have found that you’re lacking in some aspect or another…and then of course, you are tossed aside. You wish you had never been put on the scale. You wish you could dance to your own music…

You want to find something to be joyful about, but the disappointment is so strong…

You remind yourself that the sun will shine again.

….Now won’t it?

more than a glance...

2009-02-04T12:01:00.000-08:00

somewhere far off someone laughs,
at the very same moment a baby takes its first breath,
and though on some rainy night a son cries over his dying mother,
the next morning the sun will arise with a fresh rejuvenating power

a man will wipe the sweat from his brow,
a woman, the tears from her eyes
and though his strength and pride be broken,
and she her heart and dreams,
their pain will not go unnoticed,
their effort, their tears, their love

the music may fade away,
the laughs turned into hate and rage,
torn and tattered
sick of being flattered
you no longer see the stars

but this is life, made of joy and sorrow
made of love and learning,
made of pain and courage
and it’s worth a second thought,

....yes, a very precious thought.

: thank you God, for life:

k.e.h.

the day i almost died...

2009-02-02T11:51:00.000-08:00

It was a cold, drizzly Sunday afternoon in late September. I didn’t mind the fact that seventeen of us young people had to be scrunched into a fifteen passenger van for a two and a half hour drive to eastern Oregon. It would be interesting, to say the least. We were all friends, and the thought of the adventure we were about to embark on was exhilarating. I had never gone white river water rafting before, and though the prospect of getting wet and maybe rained on in the nearly fifty degree weather was disagreeable, I was excited. Once we arrived at the rather desolate parking lot, in the small town near the Deschutes River, we got out and observed the surroundings. The view was breath-taking with large rock cliffs stretching high above and hemming us in on either side. The edges of these giants were sharp, raw and jagged. Some dry trees and rugged brush skirted the bottom of the cliffs. The sky was a heavy grey giving everything beneath it vivid color. As we bounded towards the small shop where we were to change and rent our equipment, the wind tugged at our clothes and hair. Inside the shop I scanned some of the photos on the walls. In the pictures some of the rafts were half submerged in water, and the rafts folded over like tacos. I cringed looking at these wild expeditions, thankful that we would not have to experience anything of the sort.

Soon we were geared up, and after a short bus ride on a dusty gravel road, and some lengthy instructions on the bank of the river, we set out on the water. Altogether there were nine of us in the raft. On the left side, were my two girl friends Lindsey and Holly and two guys, one in the front and one in the back. On our side, my friend Taylor was in the very front, behind him my younger brother Paul, and then behind me was Christian and in the Rear, our guide Daniel. The river flowed peacefully yet powerfully, and it took some strength to paddle against the current. The first set of rapids we hit was enough to splash us considerably, but was not that impressive. I was glad that Daniel had quite a bit of experience on the river, having worked as a guide for eight years. My eyes wandered off as I enjoyed looking at the different types of trees and grasses along the bank. Taylor glanced back at my brother and I, a little smile forming on his lips.

“You guys doing ok back there?” He asked, his eyes shining. Before we could answer, he had casually dipped his paddle in and splashed us in the face. I yelled and laughed and returned the motion as a couple others joined in on the fun.

Daniel told us the next set of rapids, which had a rating of five, was going to be a big one. I expected to be splashed even more than the previous times, but my eyes widened with utter astonishment and excitement as we approached what appeared to be a complete drop off. I squealed and braced myself as we got closer. The dip looked more like a water fall, and my heart began to race. Within seconds we plunged down and were launched back up while the water rushed powerfully around the raft. The sound of the crashing water behind us pounded in my ears. Daniel yelled to us over the noise to paddle hard out of the bowl like cavity that we were in. Pushing and pulling with all my might, I almost despaired as I saw we were not making progress. Daniel yelled and encouraged us more, but our strength seemed powerless against the monstrous current. We kept going around and around. I looked ahead of me as our raft suddenly jerked and in a flash the guy in the front was flung head first into the water. The next thing I remember was the shock of the frigid water on my skin. I gasped and fear gripped me as I realized I was no longer in the protection of the raft. The pressure around me was unbelievable. Immediately, I began removing one of my crocks, which I then tossed into the raft, but before I could reach the other one, it was ripped off my foot. I grabbed the side of the raft and began trying to get in but the current drug me under the raft. The time I was under water seemed endless. I thought my head would strike a rock, or I would be forever stuck underneath while my body was hurled about helplessly. But somehow, several seconds later, I came up with only a slightly bruised leg, thankful that I was still alive. I saw the raft heading down the river, and glimpsed my brother also in the water nearing the rocks on the side. The current was pushing me strongly in the circular pattern, and though already exhausted I knew I had to swim hard to get to the side. It was a wonderful feeling grasping that solid rock, and getting out of the water. My body was shaking with cold and fear. Numbly, I began climbing the steep, rocky riverside that led up to the road.

Slowly, my senses began returning to me, and as I started to feel the sharp rocks beneath my bare feet, I started to realize how thankful I was that God had just spared my life. Later I heard that several people had died in that very spot many times before. As I walked along the gravel road no one was in sight. I didn’t care that my clothes were drenched and my leg bleeding. Soon, I found all the others downstream on the bank with the raft. No one was injured except for some scrapes and bruises. Once again my heart gave a sigh of gratitude to God who had saved us that day. Though now I could choose to stay home and shrink back from adventures, I probably will not. After that day I am convinced that life should be lived to the fullest, and every moment of it valued as a precious gift.

k.e.h.

song

2008-12-21T14:01:00.000-08:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/Karenelizabeth07/BetterOffApart?authkey=Fbxt7baoFG0#5281398493534183394

2008-11-18T12:36:00.000-08:00

“you’re going to want it back,” my wise father informed me. I looked at him and then straight ahead. My mind was set, and I was sure my decision to leave work was the right one. I had had enough of those seemingly endless, tiring, mostly uncreative days of my job. I dreamed of a nearly perfect schedule filled with all the wonderful and “good” things I wanted to do instead, and all the resources I needed at my right hand. I couldn’t wait for more free time. Time to just “breathe”.

Undoubtedly, that rather ridiculously unrealistic inclination fell flat on its face. I did perhaps receive my “wish” to be free of my job, when someone came in to fill it. And I am sure you can guess that as I sat on my bed the next day, I wanted nothing more on earth than to be back at work. Tears threatened my eyes as I threw myself into scrubbing and cleaning everything in view. I had to do something at home, after all.

Towards the end of that horrible day, I said painfully, “dad, I want my job back!” Of course, I knew I couldn’t have it back. He had told me that nearly a dozen times. Perhaps I thought whining to him made me feel better….or not.
He could have said, “I told you so,” a million times. Instead, he simply encouraged me that God would show me His plans in time.
The next day I went to a women’s meeting and the theme was, “contentment, joy, and kindness.” Two things gripped my mind that night.

1) we need to speak truth to ourselves rather than let our emotions speak to us.
2) our joy needs to be founded in Christ, not our circumstances.

The part about joy stayed with me for a while…

Suddenly my perspective on where God has me at the moment spun back in place and I realized once again, it’s not about me, it’s about Christ. It’s about joy in christ because of what He did, and what God is doing for His kingdom.

… a life without that kind of eternal and every moment joy, is not really a life at all.

k.e.h

summertime

2008-08-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

a poem

2008-05-23T18:41:00.000-07:00

sometimes I think-
things go my way,
“I will do it when I want to do it”,
“I get what I want when I want it”
“The world goes at my pace”
I try to bend and turn and twist to make things be how I want them to be
--I feel as if I am on a mountain top

But what a stubborn, arrogant lie!
An ugly, corrupting thought
--the pride of man in its perfect state
Let these viscous notions that plant themselves in the very core of our being
Be subdued and driven away

For pride destroys and breaks to pieces
All that is good and true and love
It tears apart and separates
All that is beautiful
--Relationships of souls

It masquerades as power and respect
But is the measure of God’s wrath
--Despicable and mocking of His holiness

Oh what are men that we should boast?
And in what, that we can be proud?
And who are we, to prefer something else
Than the reality God has made?

Let us bend our knees,
And not forget our depravity
--And his majesty
Let us bow our heads in humility
Let us cry for grace,
--To our king

K.E.H.

paul

2008-05-07T15:08:00.000-07:00

K.E.H.

at the beach

2008-05-07T14:45:00.001-07:00

K.E.H.

come thou fount

2008-05-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

"Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.

Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above."

This amazes me...that Jesus pursues us by his grace when we wander from God!

K.E.H.

random thoughts

2008-04-21T16:48:00.000-07:00

I tend to reach for the unattainable. And I am always striving to attain what I cannot reach yet. Sometimes it seems like a hope that gets frustrated. But what is hope it if has never been frustrated? Maybe hope springs forth when one knows there is even the slightest 1% possibility of attainability. Maybe the reason for hope is that that 1% can become attainable.....

a droplet of water.....

2008-04-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

K.E.H.

skating

2008-03-28T16:14:00.001-07:00

K.E.H.

2008-03-27T10:37:00.000-07:00

K.E.H

chillin'

2008-03-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

dogwood blossoms

2008-02-27T19:35:00.000-08:00

I love these...and today i saw that they actually bloomed. =)

K.E.H.

i ♥ this

2008-02-26T13:02:00.000-08:00

"Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite."

C. S. Lewis

life is.....

2008-02-16T16:53:00.000-08:00

...."not a line; life is a direction...We are either running toward life or running toward death."

-john stonestreet

hearts

2008-02-10T16:39:00.000-08:00

they looked gooood....so I tasted one.
oooo...yum.
I ate some. =P
but i ate TO many....ew. lol =P

K.E.H.

life is...... cruel?

2008-02-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

Pieces of glass, pieces of pie, pieces of music, and pieces of sky
Broken and torn, thrown into sea
Life is shattered, don’t you see?
Don’t try to fix it, mend it, or patch it
Broken it is, shattered it stays
One day you’re bound to step on its pieces,
Trip and fall, be cut and bleeding
There you'll stamp your mark of pain
You can’t escape it until the day...

K.E.H.

winter.time

2008-01-27T12:41:00.000-08:00

K.E.H.

miss. leeann

2008-01-20T21:14:00.000-08:00

I was working with flash, and she was more than willing to be my model. I'd have to say, she's got to be the cutest model ever...

K.E.H.

some "experiments"...

2008-01-18T15:04:00.000-08:00

The other morning I woke up to a beautiful surprise. It was snowing for the first time since Christmas. I was ecstatic! I jumped out of bed, grabbed the camera, and went outside with my big snow boots, a hat, and of course my new friend, the tripod. It was one of those rare moments, I assure you. I just had my first lesson in photography two days ago, where I learned the basics such as the exposure triangle. I also had photography theory pounded in my head for nearly two hours. I am still recovering, and trying to remember all the details...

So, bear with me, this is the best I could muster up...

K.E.H.

true love

2008-01-12T14:40:00.000-08:00

Come close, listen to the story

About a love more faithful than the morning

The Father gave his only son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark

All creation felt the Father's broken heart

Tears were filling heaven's eyes

The day that true love died, the day that true love died

When blood and water hit the ground

Walls we couldn't move came crashing down

We were free and made alive

The day that true love died, the day that true love died

Search your heart, you know you can't deny it

Come on, lose your life just so you can find it

The Father gave his only son just to save us....

Phil Wickham

run ahead

2008-01-08T13:40:00.000-08:00

Do you see the light beyond?
It reveals the life you can have

Don’t linger here, and wait around,
For your life, to begin
Run ahead, face the day,
Chase the one, who gave you life

Now you stare, in her eyes
Reaching forward, but it’s not the time

Don’t waste your life, run ahead
Redeem the time, my friend
Run ahead, face the day,
Chase the one, who gave you life

Though sometimes you will stumble and want to turn back
Hold on, for this rock will never crack
A new day will be born, will be born

Do you see the stars above?

K.E.H.

coming home...

2008-01-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

Sighing, I looked down at the numbers on my cell for the fifteenth time. Two more minutes until 1:10-when class is over and the talk of the cycle of sarcomere contraction finally ceases…
Occasionally, the anatomy and physiology course can be fascinating, but today a hundred other things filled my mind. As our teacher gave the final homework instructions, I clumsily stuffed the dangerously heavy books into my bag, and made my way out of that torturous land of boredom…

I opened the door and a gust of fresh air filled my lungs. Trying to avoid getting soaked by the downpour, I hurried to the car. Once comfortably seated, I started the engine, turned on some music, and pulled out. Home eagerly awaited…or maybe I just wanted to be home. ; )
After parking in the carport, I struggled to get all my things in just one trip to the house. But even before I could gather all my belongings, three year old Silas came scampering out barefooted, even in the cold, rainy weather. I’ve never felt so loved. His adorable face was all playful and mischievous, his eyes sparkling. He ran to the car door and peeked in the window on his tip-toes. As I was still struggling to get my bothersome things, he opened the door for me like a gentleman and greeted me with the cutest smile, and a high pitched little boy’s voice, “Hi Kawen!”

Though this is a common practice for him, it suddenly has struck me to be so dear. It makes coming home the most wonderful thing in the world.

I hug him and tousle his very blonde hair as we venture inside. There we part ways, me to finish some more school, and Silas to his tower of duplos… sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be Silas. : )

K.E.H.

duet

2007-12-26T22:48:00.001-08:00

ellanie playing along with "auntie kare". she loves it. i love that stinker. ;)

K.E.H.

2007-12-24T20:42:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

run with me?

2007-12-16T18:25:00.000-08:00

I was with a group of friends, and we were all in a circle talking and laughing. We were pretty much the only things that existed in our eyes. The things around us only mattered a little, like an old shirt matters only a little when you get a new one. Suddenly, by grace I was drawn away from myself and the others, to something magnificent. I could hardly see it through the haze of busy excitement around me. It looked quite small and insignificant, and very easy to ignore…yet I was being drawn toward it, I know not how or why. As I dared to step out of my comfortable circle of friends, it became a little brighter, like a faint lantern off in the distance on a snowy night slowly growing more vivid. I did not know what to do but come closer. As I did, I saw that it was a prize. Not a piece of medal or gold cup, but a man. He was stricken and bruised, crimson from blood, yet white as snow. He was shinning in the light, the most beautiful view I have ever seen. He was humble, yet looked like a king, everything about him declared power and majesty. His arms were open, and behind him, though I could not perceive it completely except for a ray of light, was heaven, a glorious view to behold. As I gazed forward, I did not realize where I was standing until I looked down. I had begun to tread on a path that was rocky and hard, it was a path of toil and pain. To my dismay, it was the only way to this glory. I wanted to turn back immediately and get off the treacherous path and sprint the opposite way where it was easy and looked nice. I wanted to join my friends again and laugh about the easy things. Yet I cannot, even though the hard path stares cold, raw, and evilly at me, that glimpse of glory is tugging at my heart, and I want to run after it, to run towards the goal---Christ’s glory. As I look at my dear friends, I urge them to come too…

Run with me, towards the goal?

K.E.H.

2007-12-14T10:44:00.000-08:00

"The path you take with your feet should never contradict the conviction of your heart."

J.H.

Soccer 2007

2007-12-09T17:41:00.000-08:00

K.E.H.

How Wonderful

2007-12-09T17:16:00.000-08:00

When you gaze at the stars,
Or the shining sea,
How glorious, how wonderful

When you receive a gift,
That you didn't expect,
Find a friend,
Or see the sunset,
How wonderful, how marvelous

When justice is done,
When mercy is lent,
How awesome, how wonderful

When children share,
When fathers love,
How beautiful, how precious

When you think of heaven,
When God whispers in your ear,
Telling you He's always there;
How mysterious, how beautiful, how wonderful.

K.E.H.

2007-11-18T22:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it would be really nice if everything was black and white. Discernment would be really easy because things would just "announce" themselves to you what they really are. We would know immediately that we are about to read junk, or that this movie is not only lame, but will harm us rather than benefit us, and 90% of what this person is saying....is total RUBBISH.

Unfortunately, that is not the way things are. Often we see what the bad is after we have been pulled in and have wasted so much time on one thing after another.

Using discernment is crucial.

How do we acquire discernment?

1. Study the true, living, and amazing Word of God!

This will affect your whole life, and it is not that we will always be able to discern what is good and evil, quality or bad, but we will be more equipped to live God's Will for His glory.

Don't waste your life-
seek truth that is light,
what gift can we bring?
that is worthy
'to glorify the king.

K.E.H

Cove Palisades Camping Trip

2007-09-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

Bitter Sweet

2007-08-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

A mysterious thing,
It landed on my doorstep.
At first glance t’was beautiful,
Its shining gold,
Captivating every eye.

But it was like a poisoned apple,
Beautiful on the outside,
But fatal in the depths.
It was a deceiver of truth, an enemy.

I knew of this danger,
For I was warned of its fate,
But it was too late,
For I had been lured by its divine evil,
Its beautiful pleasure,
And now a burden was mine to carry.

Its heavy weight drug me down,
And I thought I’d soon perish,
For its power was so strong,
Only by the strongest effort,
Could I go on.

Everyday my eyes grew dim,
No longer could I remember
The things once pure and good,
For another view so terrifying,
Tormented my tired eyes.

No more could I remember the fragrance of life,
No more could I taste sweetness on my lips.
All that was left was the stench of death,
My lips were parched, my mouth dry.

I knew the pain I had to bear,
The price I had to pay,
I knew the penalty that was mine,
The death that awaited me.

But then suddenly,
When the eye that saw all,
No longer gazed on my black heart,
And the weight on my shoulders,
No longer pressed down,
Someone else caught the focus
Of the all-seeing eye,
Another had drawn the righteous wrath away from me,
And took it upon himself.

But this other had done no wrong,
He had not been deceived,
Nor lured by evil.
His body had no mark of wickedness.

My eyes filled with tears,
In awe I stood.
For he had taken my blame,
And made me clean,
For he had released the burden.
And paid the price,
For he had died the death for me.

K.E.H

2007-08-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

"...Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

~John 3:21

All is about God's glory, not about how good we are, or how much we can do, but about how great our King is.

K.E.H

Roses...simply admiring themselves

2007-07-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

You can almost imagine them saying to eachother, "aren't we beautiful?" as they gaze into the glass like a mirror...

K.E.H

Kite flying

2007-06-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

2007-06-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

a little abstract art I did...

At the Beach

2007-06-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

The beach is beautiful....the sunsets glorious.

Sometimes all I do is stare at the

ocean

....utterly captivated and awed by God's glorious creation.

K.E.H

not merely idioms...

2007-06-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

What if….no reason existed? Zero order in this world? What if….no purpose lived? What if….everything was phrases and nothing rang true? What if…. que sera sera (whatever will be, will be) was the only answer? Nobody could be sane with such absurdity! In every life, something is the anchor in the core of a person. It is what they live by, it is who they are, it is meaning and purpose. Something has captured them, and they, if they are an earnest person will put their whole self into it. Ambitions, dreams, urges, cravings, motivations, everything. What is your anchor? What are your motivations? What is your“everything”?

K.E.H

Na

2007-06-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

(photo credit to amber)

The weekend that was packed full of truth, grace, and convicting, heart changing messages was incredible. After having the “mountain top” experience at the conference and being in almost a “spiritual high”, many have found the place where the rubber meets the road a challenging, if not hard and grueling task in adjusting to normal life. I nearly dreaded coming home chiefly because I knew as soon as I entered the door, real life began. It has been an unavoidable battle to fight the endless temptations satan puts in our way as soon as we leave the flock at the conference and come home. We get used to being at the conference, a place of peace and quiet, a place where thousands are worshiping Christ and earnestly seeking His face. What glorious moments. Yet, obviously we can’t live there; everyone must go home and face real life. It is not that the home or work place is an unpleasant place to be, or that family and friends are an annoyance and hindrance to be around, rather it is where our patience is tried, our pride humbled, our high and lofty dreams squandered, our anxiety and fear multiplied, and our lives tested and tried in every way. “How can we bear this?” We ask ourselves. “Why don’t they understand? Don’t they know this stuff that I learned?” Our patience grows thin. Suddenly….. we start to become ignorant of our own faults. Then we feel like we are back to square one. How frustrating. We feel like failures. But God’s grace is so great! We can only carry on by His strength; by His blood, by His love. God works in our hearts during the “mountain top” times and we feel so close to Him and so in love with Him…and during that time it is like He is tilling and planting a seed in our hearts, and when we get home, it is our responsibility to take action, to grow in the “grace like rain” that he constantly provides. If any of you have experienced anything of the sort, be encouraged that God is always there to meet you in those seeming impossible moments. He doesn’t just “rain down grace” and then leave you to grow on your own. He’s always near, and never idle. His patience is abounding, His love amazing.

K.E.H

Keynote

2007-06-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

“Life by light alone”…Perhaps you have a notion of what this means, yet, you may be wondering, “What does this really mean?” Scripture uses the illustration of light as truth, and essentially Christ. In 1 John 1:5 he states clearly, “…God is light…” Life is only by the truth; it is only by Christ that we can live. How blessed we are that God has shown His light in our darkened, sin tainted world. Yet, though His light shines, the only ones that perceive it are those He has chosen to reveal Himself to. Christ has shined His light, but the world has not understood it, it cannot comprehend Christ. Only by God’s grace believers are enlightened. Cherish the light. Life cannot exist without the sun. Christians cannot live without the light, which is truth, which is Christ. Not only is Christ light, and light Christ, but Christians can be light in the world. We can reflect His life if we are abiding in Christ. The world being in darkness, not only does not understand Christ, buy it does not understand Christians. If only it knew that life is by light alone...

K.E.H

a little bit of nature...

2007-06-07T15:58:00.000-07:00

humming bird's nest...It was soo small and cute I just couldn't resist...

2007-05-30T17:05:00.000-07:00

"Only one life, 'Twill soon be past~ Only what's done for Christ will last."

~John Piper